If you can't beat em, cheat em (thread 2)

[oops13]

Light boundaries might be a misnomer or giving me too much credit. Basically I just tell her I want to do some things alone. All the family events and stuff right now I just go do by myself and if she asks to come along I tell her I'm doing it alone. Im doing what I can without letting on that I know.

I'm feeling MUCH better than I was not long ago. I have to grit my teeth a little when doing things with her or showing affection. I have to make myself spend some time at home to continue 180s, otherwise I'd be away constantly. I'm ready to rock the boat and ready to move on, mostly. Every day it gets a little easier to feel good, but a little harder to engage in my own deception but I have to do it to prepare for the worst.

What is funny is that she bought a relationship-saving book. I didn't really feel anything when I saw it. I'm betting it's a stage prop or something to feed rationalization about "trying".

I'm definitely going to ratchet down the availability some more though and be too busy to do things with her.

SoTorn, I'll check out that song. Thank you.