Dilly, I totally agree with your differentiation of limbo. It absolutely comes down to the waiting aspect. As much as I try to get my power back by GAL/setting boundaries/ detaching (and those things do give us a bit of our power back, I believe) you are right; we are waiting for our spouse to take action, one way or another. Obviously that’s where the patience comes in, but god it gets so hard after a lot of time has passed. I too go through stages of acceptance and patience, and then resentment about it and decide to take action. But then I can’t bring myself to do invest the time/effort/emotional energy/money to initiate a divorce I don’t want. A big part of me feels like if he truly wants that, he will have to stop being passive and be the one to make it happen. And then part of me thinks, clearly he doesn’t completely want that otherwise he’d be doing it...and the internal battle goes on and the waiting in limbo continues. I do feel like no matter how much we can detach, the nature of this is waiting for our spouse. when I get a crumb of hope, I feel like I could wait as long as it takes. When I’m discouraged I question everything I’m doing. It’s tiring.
