How many months do I just sit here DB’g when I know the BD is coming? Is there a point where I am disrespecting myself, watching my W slowly plan this out? Could it be better to just call her out? “hey you’re not wearing your ring what’s up?” Or “I don’t want to go back to MC if we are not trying to stay M’d” or “I see the stress we both are under is impacting our kids” or “I’m not gullible I see you plotting this all out and distancing yourself and finding more and more reasons every day to justify your anger no matter what I do”
Seriously what do you do if W stops wearing her ring? It’s possible this is a one day thing due to working on the garden but it just seems... odd.
In the meantime I feel like I need to set some boundaries. Looking for feedback here on these: - I will walk away from angry conversations - I will not step into help W discipline our kids if she started the discipline (timeouts etc) - likewise If I am dealing with my child I will not have W butt in
Any good GAL ideas for someone who works FT and has 3 little kids so spends all time at work or home basically?
Unichen - like I said I'm not you and cant tell you what to do. But if it were me I would cancel that MC session. BD was hard enough. I definitely didn't need a 3rd party there to offer comments and critiques on how that went.
Calling her out will only increase the pain. Trust me, I've tried it. Learned the hard way. I wont do that again, not unless she comes out of the MLC tunnel and SHE decides to talk about it.
They aren't in the same mindset as you. It will be seen as tremendous pressure and will push them farther away.
Rings off is a hard day. Try to breathe, try to stay calm. Meditation has helped me a lot. Walking has helped, running, maybe going to the movies or even the library with your kids? A museum? A nearby park? Sometimes going for a drive- Anything to give you just a few hours to take your mind off things.
