Brave Little Gerda Faces the Icy Game of Reason

[roist]

WOW, a 13 year old wrote that!! So mature, caring and understanding. Well done you (and him).

Best wishes

how my H's choice can't change my vision of what M is. i think, well, yes, a terrible thing happened, my H went insane, the life I wanted is not going to be the life I live, and I have a very heavy cross the carry.

There are two points I'd like to make about "choice". Firstly and one that may seem negative, but isn't necessarily. I read somewhere that we are where we are because of the choices we made. Technically it is undeniable. This is not that we are to blame. Although this applies to all aspects of our lives, I will apply it here to our situations with our WAS. We choose them. Then throughout our M, we treated them in a certain way. Unconsciously or consciously we choose actions that weakened our M. They did too, no doubt about that. You also chose to stand.

Whereas at first glance that may appear unhelpful, my second point is that your actual present is a direct result from décisions that you made in the past. Which means that your future is directly related to choices you make NOW. I understand that your situation can be a heavy burden but I also believe that you can change how you see that and in doing so, lessen the load.


He may come back, and I would have to love him again and God will help me do it.

You don't have to do anything. Is that what you want?

Or he may never come back and I will not have that family life I wanted.

The life that you wanted........ Is that what you want now?

I am more aware than ever of how weak I am, of how helpless in the face of the allure of this world. I understand maybe for the first time that I can do nothing via my own will. I just keep asking God to know me as I am and to help me to walk in the path he wants for me, to make it possible when it has become impossible, to forgive me and invite me back when I am not strong enough to stay the course.

You are conflicted. It is understandable. Take some pressure off yourself. Give yourself some time and space to see this and to see your path forward. Maybe the best way to do that is to take the focus away from your situation and put it into filling your life with whatever you CHOOSE.

I repeat this often to many people, including myself! But I believe it to be through. When going through a crisis there are three phases. First you do whatever it takes to just SURVIVE. That in itself can be a huge achievement. Then we need to take steps to LIVE again. Fact is many of us stopped living during our M. And all of us stop living when we enter a M crisis as the LBS. but we can chose how we live through our crisis. Once we really start living the life we love, we can THRIVE. Make the most of what we have and what we can do.

Whenever I feel my situation weighing on me, I remind myself that I CHOSE to stand. If that hasn't changed, then the next step is to decide how to live whilst standing