My STBXWW tried the "This isnt about OM, I have no future with OM" crap with me. There is no arguing with them. They justify everything they do.
Keep detaching. Stop talking about your H with your mom etc. Stop focusing on him. What he did or you did in the past doesnt matter. All that matters is right now. All that matters is what you are doing to focus on yourself and make yourself happy.
If you start thinking about your H, take a step back and say to yourself "who cares?" Then start focusing on yourself. What are you doing to better yourself? What are you doing to focus on yourself?
You are all that matters right now and the kids if they are still minors. Let your H go. Don't let his actions, words or emotions affect you at all.
Make some goals, find your path and walk it.
Thank you SoTorn. I am actually grateful that I have been so sick all day, because it provided me with much needed quiet alone time. I stopped buying him groceries and for the first time I ignored H's phone calls and texts. My phone was blowing up. I ignored. His actions of today were probably the most hurtful thing H has ever done, and I think he knows it. He came in my room when he got home, I pretended I was asleep. He continued to come in and check on me, placing his hand on my hip asking if I was ok, telling me he bought me dinner, etc. I said I was fine, thank you. I'm ready to lock my door, haha.
You are right, I need to stop focusing on H. I like the mantra of "who cares", I will practice it when he pops into my head. I should be focusing on me. I had been doing a pretty good job at GaL, and it drove him crazy. But between work, coaching, and my Master's program I am super busy right now. The gym has been my saving grace. I love the results I'm seeing, I have gained 4 pounds and feel great. I am socializing and meeting people there. I have a few more weeks of crazy busy and then I will have time to get out and hike, bike, and go out with friends, and family.
For now I will sit back and focus on me. I don't think I will bring up moving out unless H does. Who knows tomorrow I may feel differently. For now, I am going to ask him to get his own bank account and show him what the financials look like. I need to protect myself emotionally and financially.
