Last stages of divorce

[Rita]

Remember, Hamburg, believe none of what she says and very little of what she does. You are so early in this thing. I assure you that that relationship she says that about is counterfeit. She even sounds like a silly little teenager in what she is saying about it.

You may not want to wait it out, you may not want to get over how much she hurt you in this time, but nothing of what she is saying or doing should be taken at face value. The effects of it are devastating to your life and your kids' lives, and you have to deal with that and pick up the pieces, but there is no real truth to it, in terms of lasting Truth with a capital T. All that she told you about remorse and all that stuff, well, that is amazing. Hold on to that. No expectations but keep it in a little box in your heart. Many of us have never gotten those words.

As far as the nurses wanting the doctors -- I have to say, what I meant has nothing to do with gold diggers. I am not talking about that. I can't imagine any rock solid woman, rich or poor, gold-digging or not, who would be ready to start a serious relationship with a man as recently separated as you are. I have no idea about the gold digging aspect of things but I think that's irrelevant from your perspective (though perhaps not from the nurses' perspectives). I'm only saying how I feel as a woman imagining how hard it would be to be married to a man who was getting that kind of attention every single day at work, especially if I felt he was neglecting the family by working such long hours. I carry myself at work in a way that shows a very closed door to that kind of attention and no one gives that to me. I carry myself a bit differently in other contexts lately and I get a lot of attention, about which I feel very guilty though I enjoy it in the moment, so I very clearly see the difference in terms of what I am inviting and legitimizing by how receptive I am. Her MLC is not your fault in any way but I would just encourage you to really think about that for whoever you end up with later. Most of all I am always so impressed by your kindness and openness and what a great dad you seem to be. In this one area I could really imagine how your W might have felt if she were just a regular woman and not losing her mind because of MLC.