IW. I just read your updated posts on your thread. Sorry for your struggles.
I’m also in a low place. Not even a hug or ILY on my 40th. It hurts. Badly.
Let’s be honest - for the vast majority here we have ZERO chance of reconciliation. That thread of hope we hold onto becomes a leash holding us back from where we need to go. DB draws us in because it offers a plan to hang onto that thread, and we are drawn here because of that glimmer of hope. But we stay because DB helps us heal and become stronger happier and healthier individuals. That is the ultimate journey. I hope one day soon I come to terms that I need to DB just for myself. That’s it. And NOT because it might save my M. Because it’s for me. And not even tangentially with some hope that it may incidentally save my M. Letting go (if I can get to that point) seems like the only path to happiness. Forget the M.
Weird birthday though. Had a 20min discussion with W about issues with my FOO. Not sure why W even wanted to talk about it. Too late for me to get into the details, but felt strangely personal and we rarely talk about those things anymore. Just noise, I’m learning not to try to interpret things. Believe none of what they say, etc.
Stay strong you are not alone.
My WW used to get me very nice gifts on my bday and gove me cards with love notes written in them. On my last birthday she got me a card that said "blow me".
That was the worst birthday I ever had.
Today is mothers day and would be our 18th anniversary.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
