I wonder if we're always, always in limbo - we just fool ourselves. Even in a stable happy marriage, someone could get sick, or have a secret life, or leave out of the blue. Someone could drop dead. We could fall out of love or win the lottery or... well, anything. Life is unpredictable. Everything changes. Very little is in our control. I wonder if we're always, always in limbo and a steady marriage makes us forget that. I think if I end up R with H I wouldn't want to take our R for granted again, and I'd always want to assume he could leave at any time and was choosing to stay with me because he wanted to and it was best for him, and I'd want to do my part to make sure the conditions of our marriage and home life were best for him.
I'm not sure I am expressing myself very well here. I just mean - maybe hoping for solidity is part of the problem, and the solidity of where we were before BD was an unhealthy thing, rather than something to go back to.
