Also want to say... yeah she will struggle. She has a D’d friend with 2 kids though who is very strong and determined and one of her role models.
Probably the part she doesn’t realize yet is the financial impact. I’m almost 99% sure we would have to sell the house and living in an expensive area of the country it will be rough for both of us. Really rough. Like we might have to move out of our school district. She may plan to go back to work but she tends to overestimate what she can make.
That being said I would not reconcile for that reason alone (financial). Nor do I think she would. Or maybe she would realize this, but not explicitly state it. Honestly if she does start to come back to me for no obvious reason (like MC) it would be the money. And I would turn away.
I’m no expert and have only just started researching the financial implications for me though.
The other difficulties she may face I don’t think will faze her. Since she has been SAHM now for 18 months I think she is ready to handle the extra burden. She likes her friends. I provide some emotional support as someone to talk to, and that will be over, but... not enough probably. She will need to go back to work. Maybe more days than she wants to. I don’t know. She loves her career... she wants that and the 3 kids and no husband right now. She will struggle but that’s for her to bear.
Honestly I’ve made my mistakes which are a huge part of this. She also seems to just want to be a mom and not a wife. It’s been that way since before we had problems. The problems started when I started feeling ignored and expressed my feelings. So maybe I’ll be happier too in the long run.
