I think the only thing that keeps our marriage afloat is if I take responsibility for his abusive behaviours and undertake to change my own behaviour so that he won't be provoked into doing the things I find unacceptable.
What type of life is it that you take responsibility for his abusive behaviour. His behaviours are on him. Own your faults but do not own his. Treat him as you would like to be treated - with kindness and respect. But you can not expect the same from him. He has his own demons to face - and from the sounds of it, he is not yet ready to face them. He may never be.
Being single is lonely. But there is also freedom. Freedom from anxiety. Freedom from always trying to temper your emotions so that they will 'not provoke' someone else.
