Years. I am 42 now, turning 43 in a couple of months. I look at my 30s as a lost decade.
Originally Posted by joejoe1
What tools did you use to help you heal?
In the early years post bomb it was booze, going out with friends and essentially reliving "wild times" in my 20s which I didn't experience back then.
Surfing.
Having laughs with my friends at work. They were a lifeline.
Then when the babies came I poured myself into being a father.
Originally Posted by joejoe1
How do you see your W now?
Hard to say.
The woman I married and fell in love with is back. Her memory of events back then seems sketchy at best. Every now and then I have brought something up in passing and her memory of it seems vague.
On the rare occasions when I get angry with her I start thinking about the things which happened 10 years ago.
Originally Posted by joejoe1
Do you ever still get remainders/flashbacks?
Sometimes. Much less often now.
Originally Posted by joejoe1
Why do I focus so much on her A, and not understand how much pain I caused also?
Because being cheated on is a huge deal.
If your wife has banged another man it will unleash emotions you never realised you could have in you.
How much pain did you cause? I caused my wife a lot of pain, I was always aware of how much, even though there were times I felt like finishing her off.
Originally Posted by joejoe1
Looking for some help from another DB that has gone thru the fire.
Hope I could help.
Best, GH31
Me: 46 W: 46 T: 23 M: 20 DS12 DD11 DS5
W left: 01/28/08 Discovered OM: 02/26/08 W back for 9 days: 04/08 W returned 05/21/08 EA/PA - 01/08-07/09 W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)
