Married couple from Scandinavia

[BenB]

DnJ thank you so much for your detailed reply. I really appreciate you taking your time to write all this.

I haven´t read the DB book but I just ordered it online and will read as soon as I have it. But I´ve read many other books and pretty much everything available online. I´ve also read books on NLP which has helped control my emotions.

The only events I know that could have triggered it is our wedding which was in August last year. Could that really trigger what is happening now? The wedding was beautiful, we were both crying and she never cries usually! It really was the best day of our lives. I would guess us talking about having a baby early January would be the trigger.

I understand what you are saying about couples not having sex when one spouse is having a MLC but this is quite painful for me to accept. Years without any sex ahead of me? I´ve always had a high sex drive. I can wait months but years? I don´t know. That said - I would NEVER pressure her or even bring up the subject of sex as I know better than that, even before this started.

I will listen to your advice and not make any decisons for now. But the one thing I can´t do is accept an affair. If that happens and I find out, I simply have to end it and ask her to move out immediately.

But let´s say I was to tell her that I am unhappy with the way things are now and I would like to move on with my life(which is what I´m feeling right now) and I want us to divorce and for her to find a new place - is that really all bad? Could that not make her realize she is losing me and make her change her mind? I´m really not saying that I want to do this as a strategy to get her back, I am fully aware it is very likely it will end between us and we speak no more. But I can´t help but to think it could shock her back to reality. Am I completely wrong?

She right now thinks I would do anything to make things better between us, not because I say that to her but because we established this early on during therapy when he asked us where we both stand.

Two sessions ago she suggested that perhaps she could try moving out for a few months because she feels like she is in a bubble and she thinks by experiencing living alone that might snap her out of this. Now the thing is that she can´t afford to move out so the only solution would be that I pay for a airbnb and she asked if I could put that as a company expense if we were to do so. I could do this in theory but I didn´t say yes or no when she mentioned it. The therapist stepped in and said he advices against that and that they don´t recommend any drastic changes to our day to day lives during counseling. She then just said "ok" and we left it at that. DnJ, what do you think of that suggestion? Again, I would never put any pessure on her to do anything, except if I decide to divorce her, but could us living apart be helpful? I have to admit, the thought of her moving out feels great right now. I would have the place all to myself and it feels like I could really focus on me even more so than now. But me paying for it, I have doubts about that for sure.