New to DB and (W)MLC, never thought it'd be me

[SoTorn]

Like hurt says, you will be fine. Yes its good to recognize your toxic behaviors and 180 them. But thats for you. You made up 50% of a half. The other 50% is on her.

It takes time, focus and patience to detach. But that is your main goal. You need to emotionally detach yourself from her.

The longer you stay attached the longer you will hurt. It is extremely counterintuitive to do it. But it works. Meaning it works by saving yourself and making yourself emotionally healthy, attractive, assertive and desirable.

Your goal is to get to a point where you accept your M is over, but you know you will be fine and a much better person than before.

Stop wondering why or what she is doing. Stop making decisions based on how you think she will react. What she does doesn't matter. What you do only needs to matter to you.

Think about what will make you happy. Focus on what you need to do to be the best version of yourself possible for yourself. Once you get to the point where you love yourself, you may not want to R with your W by the time you get to that point.

But I promise that once you detach and drop that rope, you will no longer be riding the emotional rollercoaster. You will be much more wise, patient, and will have a completely new perspective on everything.

When you have that perspective and are no longer hurting, you may not even want your W back.

Your W has to take her own journey. What she does is for her to decide and you shouldn't allow her actions to get a reaction out of you at all.

She will notice that you are changed. But it would be up to her to work on herself and to make the decision if she wants to R with you. She would need to prove to you that she is committed to fixing the M. She would need to show you she has changed by showing consistent actions over a long period of time.

Once you are detached, you can decide if you want to keep shining a light on the path for her, or just to move on.

I personally decided to move on. Because my new perspective ahowed me that ai deserve so much better than what my STBXWW was giving me.

Time to do you and make yourself happy.