I think I was posting at the same time others were posting and missed some advice by LH and Dawn so thanks. I still don’t think I will initiate this time around though with a message. I’m gonna just focus on the guys that make an effort. I think guys say they like women to do that, but then think they don’t have to work as hard (again not all guys) cause it’s a done deal (ex bf ) Or maybe a guy that doesn’t initiate is the type that’s gonna just always allow the woman to initiate out of a passive or lazy personality type (ex bf)
I also reread something about Andrews B that was disturbing and really sad. There’s some great books I would recommend by Gavin Becker - one of them is called protecting the gift (but more geared for keeping kids safe). Any way, the author talks about how many women feel the need to be polite and nice first and how it makes them a prime target. That’s kind of what that situation sounds like. In his books he teaches women that they don’t have to be polite and gives them some really good scenarios and helps them recognize what to look out for by predators and how to respond )
I am certainly not a loud or tough female but I was raised in a pre gentrified area in the 80s where Being “rude” is acceptable and the norm. If I’m not comfortable, I don’t worry about being polite. I shut my window and drive away or shut down a conversation and find someone around I’m comfortable with. I am teaching my son to follow his instincts and if someone seems creepy or gives him the wrong vibe to just get away. I explain to him “that guy gave me the creeps” that’s why I left. And I don’t care whether someone gets offended. I know in other areas of the country that’s not the norm though.
For example, One time some guy pulled up real close to my car and was indicating that he wanted me to roll my window down. He kind of blocked my car to do so and I’m thinking “who the f asks a women with a baby in a car seat for directions?” So I pulled away and almost hit his car and he got mad and was yelling out his window. But I didn’t care. I just drove to a nearby fire station in case he followed me. I think more women need to be ok with being rude to people that make them uncomfortable.
