New to DB and (W)MLC, never thought it'd be me

[SoTorn]

Hey man. Sorry you are here. That is exactly how my WW started off. Started detaching. She started traveling a lot more for work. Started saying she wanted space. Was on her phone all the time with new progressive friends. Wouldnt let me touch her, stopped being intimate etc. I got the ILYBIDLY speech in August 2018.

October 2018 I confirmed it was an affair. Like you said, eyes wide open. My WW started with a MLC when my older daughter moved out. It went downhill from there. At first she was just a little distant. The difference with my WW us she started being extremely ugly to me. She was pushing me away by being hateful. As far as I could tell she was trying to hurt me so I would accept that we were separated. Then her excuse for having the A was that we were separated. Which of course we werent. Twisting the past got bad to the point where she told me I was a horrible H and our marriage was sh*t.

You are ahead of the game. Detach, give her space, keep an eye for flags of an A because its very possible she met someone and they are both feeding the waywardness.

Unfortunately my M is ending in D. But I have focused solely on myself and my kids and I am content with it.

Read everything here. Read Divorce Remedy. Start reading everything you can. Good luck. I hope you can save tour M.

One thing about IC for the W. Be aware that they will tell her to do what makes her happy. My WW qent to IC and her IC just validated that she needed to do what makes her happy and D me. Same with the MC we went to once after confirmation of PA.

You got this. Its a very long and painful journey. But you will either end up a better man for yourself or a better man that your W recognizes and wants to work on the MR with. She has to find herself and love herself first. Nothing you do will make her change her mind. So focus on yourself with zero expectation from her.