I’m new to this but I struggle with the hope and dependence and just wanting her back too.
Lately what helps me is to frame it like this:
- For our M to survive, I need to change. I cannot be co-dependent, focused on her, living my life worried about her. We cannot be happy as a couple if I do not change, if I cannot be happy on my own. - incidentally these same skills will be necessary for me to endure a S or D and enjoy the rest of my life.
No matter what the outcome of your M, you have to be able to be happy and content on your own.
I am by no means anywhere near achieving any of this, but I recognize my complacency over the years, letting my co-dependency lead the way, adding more emotional burden to my W while I stood idly by, was a major culprit in the erosion of our M.
