Alison, I really feel for you. You have been through so much and I can tell you are really, really struggling with what to do here. Your concerns are all 100% legitimate. This is a marriage-saving site but not at the sake of ruining your life. It sounds like you do not want to open yourself up to all that pain and suffering again so here's my advice- don't. You've been doing so much better since adjusting to life without him. Stay on that path. I think he still needs to fall quite a ways and hit rock bottom before he might actually bother to change anything about himself. I think that right now if you go to MC then he's going to do just what you think he will- blame you, gripe about you, get angry if you say one disparaging thing about him. So just table it for now and continue your course. In the future who knows what may happen. But for now I think you know what to do.
