My exW doesn't attend a lot of the kids stuff so that she can spend time with her bf. Kids have noticed. I make it out to everything and there is a rare occasion when I am unable to. Even if I was dating, attending kids stuff would be my priority. There is nothing in my schedule that can't be worked around. I do understand the importance of self-care and everyone should be engaging in that. But none of my self-care stuff conflicts with the kids stuff for now. I understand on occasion that someone might have a conflict, but not on a regular basis.
I am never off the clock. My R with the kids is much stronger because I show up all the time in their lives, not just events and school field trips. My emotional health is far better than exW and it is really evident when kids run into issues with her and how she handles it. I do it very differently and that's why we're so tight. Kids call me from school if there is an issue. Teachers and the Principal know me and I am a regular presence at the school for stuff. All this matters to the kids. It also matters to me because I want to be involved and know what's happening in their lives. School is everything for them right now.
I also don't understand how her bf doesn't reflect on what she is prioritizing. Especially cuz he's a parent too. But maybe they both are doing the same, I dunno. Not my cheesecake to slice.
