I don't think you can save your marriage on your own. You can protect yourself from unacceptable behaviour, work on yourselves, and be willing to do the work of saving your marriage if and when your H comes to the table. He isn't at the table so at the moment there isn't a marriage to save.
I know what you mean. I'm wrestling with myself at the moment - wondering whether to throw in the towel or not. I think of my children and that is a heavy part of my decision.
