Hey, I grew up with a mom who took zero interest in anything I did and whenever I started a new activity, she talked me out of going because she didn’t want to bring me. She only worked on and off and part time, so she was tasked to bring me.
I think it’s a great you go to all the games. And I don’t think you making everyone of them vs. your ex missing one once in a blue moon makes either of you more involved or better. We both go to plenty of my daughters games, but yeah, since we got every other weekend to ourselves, sometimes we put our plans firstvwoth our friends. Both me and my ex. Not all the time, but sometimes.
Your ex doesn’t sound like she always puts herself first or is completely off the clock. She sounds like a loving involved mother who is present even when her kids are with you. She attends the kids activities on on her night, she has chosen a brunch before ( which when you have every other weekend to yourself, it might be a rare time all the ladies could get to get her) me and my friends are crazy busy full tome workers with kid responsibilities. When our schedules align it’s like a once a year red moon or something . I’ll miss one of my kids games for that. In that instance I put myself first, because if I don’t take care of me, I’m not the best mom I can be.
I’m going to venture too that because you are super into sports , it’s a little different for you too. You love that stuff.
I’m reading a book right now about the unrealistic expectations placed on women and mothers and the shaming and how because one woman does one thing and the other doesn’t it society makes them feel like the lesser mom or parent. Just because we make certain choices that involve self care, doesn’t decrease our value as parents.
It sounds like your children will be very happy dad made it to their games. And I don’t think your children will be affected by the few times mom might have chosen brunch in stead.
I’ll also venture to guess that if you talked to your ex about seeing how you can make the activities more tolerable for the kids, she would help out.
Consider the after school sitter . Being in their own environment will probably be better on them and even cheaper
