Understood. But he isn't talking about divorce. He's filed. Not sure what to make of that. I know I can't change his mind. I'm entering acceptance mode, but it's super hard.
So he already filed? Do you have an L?
I agree that this sounds like an emotional affair, but in a very creepy way because this is his biological mother. Just remember that the only thing you can do is focus on yourself. Give him space. Don't try to get anyone to talk to him. Nobody is going to change his mind. Nobody is going to talk to him. Getting other people involved will just be manipulative if they try to reach out to him and try to talk him out of what he is doing. Nobody can talk him out of it.
You just need to let him go. One of our sayings here is "let them go to get them back". Sometimes they come back, sometimes they don't. In my situation, my WW cheated on me. She treated me extremely badly for about a year. I still pursued. But after I found this place I got 2x4s all day long and realized that I needed to take a huge step back and focus on myself.
In doing so, I realized that i was not in a relationship with a mentally healthy or supportive woman. I realize that even with me at my best, my WW was not changing and there was nothing I could do about it. I let her go, moved on and I have zero expectation or desire to get her back or get back into an unhealthy relationship.
You will get there. But it takes time and you have to focus on yourself. There is literally nothing else you can do besides focus on yourself. You will drive yourself nuts and be an emotional wreck with constantly trying to figure out why he is doing this, what he is doing or trying to make him do something. Just let go. Its hard, but its the best thing to do for YOU, not him.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
