When I was 18 I was in a relationship with someone that was really jealous. He went through all my stuff. Was constantly checking up and accusing me of ridiculous stuff. Turns out he was cheating and had cheated in his past and continued to cheat with future girl friends.
I have never ever tolerated jealousy or a guy going through my stuff after that experience. Usually they don’t trust you because they don’t trust themselves. Has no right to read your texts or go through your phone. You should never feel like you have to change how you behave with people (like crazy ex bf) to make your current partner feel better. (When your behavior is innocent). That will slowly and gradually evolve into you feeling like you are walking on egg shells the whole time. It’s dysfunctional if not abusive.
I am really grateful that you were direct with me regarding my ex bf. I am so much happier not being with him. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. I would like to be equally direct with you. You don’t seem happy. His behaviors would not make me happy. His behaviors are pretty dysfunctional. You have no history with him and I think you can help him medically as a professional or as a friend without having to be tied to him romantically. You are not dumping your long term boy friend when he got cancer. This is completely 100 percent different. And if he doesn’t get that, it’s on him not you. I think you need to put yourself first.
