I think that's such a huge part of detachment. I know when my H first moved out I was terrified of arranging childminders because I knew he didn't like it, and I didn't want to do anything at all he didn't like because I was scared of driving him away. I have a long way to go with detachment, but on this issue he doesn't have a leg to stand on and he knows it. I arrange whatever childcare I need without reference to his opinions because my needs come first and I can't be a good mother to those children if I am in sole charge of them 24/7. I need that time for myself and I will take it. I hope you can get to that place too.
