I don't think you have much choice. There's no way you're going to be able to talk him out of divorcing you. And even if you did, he'd only resent you for it afterwards. How much time he spends with his mother, where he lives and whether he is married to you or not needs to be a choice he makes on his own, in calmness, after getting his head straight. if you put pressure on him, he'll run and rush a divorce. Stand back. Hold on to yourself because attempting to force or convince him to stay married in order to manage your own panic is exactly the wrong thing to do.
The cameras thing is troubling. If he moves out, you can just get rid of them. I don't see why you wouldn't just get rid of them anyway. You don't consent to being filmed in the privacy of your own home. The intensity of his need to monitor you is very strange. Do you have concerns about his mental health?
