We like the same movies and events, attended the ballet together, watched BBC together, had long conversations about everything, were best friends, excellent lovers, laughed and joked, shared the same spiritual path, the same political affiliation, had interests in similar stuff: astronomy, philosophy, etc.
That all sounds fantastic, but...
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I insisted he tell her we were a packaged deal and there was no way that he was going to go there without me all the time.
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I railed against him. I nagged, tried to cajole, became angry. I don't know why.
Wow. That sounds like very damaging, controlling, manipulative behavior. Are you sure there wasn't more of this in your apparently happy marriage? Like years of you treating him like this?
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Now he says I was controlling and manipulative. He says I tried to keep them apart.
Well it does sound like it. That's an area you can do a 180 in.
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I begged and pleaded, tried to get him to give me another chance to no avail. He does not want to work on our marriage.
Have you read DR yet? No more begging and pleading. Give him time and space. His feelings are a reflection of how he feels right NOW, but that can and will change. It takes time, you've got to be patient.
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I tried to implement the "I don't care" attitude.
That's not DB'ing. DB'ing is all about LOVINGLY detaching. Do you know Sandi's rules?
