Midlife wife crisis6

[Wolfman]

Journaling: In the last 9 months of separation I have learned a lot about myself, relationships and my w. I have learned how much I truly love my kids and how every moment spent with them is gold. How I took the little things for granted and how I want to be a part of every second of their life!!! I understand that this is truly difficult for them and trying my best to love them and be there for them.

As far as relationships the biggest lesson I think I learned is when you love someone, don’t stop “loving” them. Keep it fresh, exciting, mix up once and a while. I think I got too complacent and just fell into the same old monotonous routine. I know life happens with work, kids, bills and a home to keep up with. But sometimes once in a while we need to change it up with our partner. And for now on I will “really” listen to what my partner is saying.

Lastly, I know on here the theme is to take care of yourself and only worry about yourself and if you have kids them too. Well that was my w’s theme all along to just take care of herself. She tried for a while to put a show on about how she cared about the family when deep down she was only worried about herself. Well that selfishness has finally come out and I am seeing what I think I was blind too for a long time. She is not divorcing me she is divorcing the family. She has been saying for a long time when will she just have time for herself? Granted we all want that once and a while. She just wants it all the time. I see how little by little she keeps pushing the kids on me. How she doesn’t want to have any responsibility anymore. She gets excited the days when I have the kids because she can go and whatever she wants. Where the days I don’t have my kids I am depressed because I miss them. She has shown me this is someone I really don’t not know I want to be married to anymore. I always thought of family as being together and loving one another when times are good and even more so when times are bad. Thanks for reading.
Does anyone feel like that in their situation? That your spouse didn’t really want to d you but the family?