I'm sorry for your loss, CSL. Detachment from your H sounds like the most positive and healthy thing from you right now. You can't have care and support rom him and because he is cheating on you, you don't want it (and rightly so). But I hope you are getting care and support from friends and family.
Thank you Alison. I have a great support system. Not many know what is going on right now, but those that do are taking great care of me.
H was clearly annoyed with the situation this morning. Telling me he hopes I know he is just worried about me with all that I am going through. I thanked him for his concern, and said I appreciate the support as I would have done the same for him. He told me he is trying to be cordial, trying to check in, and sometimes he calls just out of habit. I told him appreciate that he thinks of me. I know I should just leave it at that, but..... I told him that I cannot be his friend while he is cheating on me. He rolled his eyes and said, "so I can't go to the gym, or talk to people on the phone?" I told him as long as he was contacting OW, I could not be his friend. He said OK and walked out the door in a huff.
What does he expect? He wants to have his cake and eat it too, and for some reason he thinks I should be ok with that?! He will not admit that this is an affair, only that it is inappropriate to be "talking" with OW. I know it has gone beyond that. He admits that it is not fair to me, he understands (or says he does) that is hurts me, but insists it is not what I think. I know better..... Until he is ready to admit that, I feel we have no chance at R.
I don't think there will be any temp checking today, haha. And I'm ok with that
