I would suggest to read the MLC resources here. All of them. They have helped me get a handle on what I'm dealing with and how to go about applying it IRL. Maybe not everything will apply, but it might help you begin to see an MLCers viewpoint, how they think, what their perspective is. That was what was missing for me - once I saw it (kind of) from W's angle, I let go of the outcome and things calmed down (for me)
Thanks I will check these out, and hope they help weather the storm.
I'm having a hard time thinking of this as W's MLC. She has a book about divorcing someone with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder hidden away. Whether or not I have those (I'm pretty sure I don't, as I go to IC and have had this confirmed), it kind of tells me what she's thinking and why she may be so distant (the textbook way to respond to BPD/NPD is to "manage" them in neutral, unemotional ways). She's not having an A, she's still a great affectionate mom with the kids, she doesn't go out and party or have any sudden behavioral changes. She's just more secretive now and distant, and affection is gone.
