I'm thinking a lot about these things too, and have thought about them for quite a while. With the suddenness of my situation, I determined W's sudden change of heart within a 2 week period last year was at least in some part my fault, some part hers. It was also my depressed state due to a work situation I felt I had no control over, and also her entering into a MLC-like state.
I would suggest to read the MLC resources here. All of them. They have helped me get a handle on what I'm dealing with and how to go about applying it IRL. Maybe not everything will apply, but it might help you begin to see an MLCers viewpoint, how they think, what their perspective is. That was what was missing for me - once I saw it (kind of) from W's angle, I let go of the outcome and things calmed down (for me)
