W seemed very interested in me/very pursuing. I got home from work yesterday, my S was sleeping so I got busy with some projects in the yard I’m working on. Came back inside and W was eating dinner with my S in the kitchen. I bbqed my meal and went to eat in the living room.
W said “come here, don’t you want to eat as a family.” Me: We aren’t going to be a family in 2 weeks (when she moves out). W: yes we will still be a family! Me: No we will be 2 separate house holds, that isn’t a family.
I started to walk away after giving my S some attention.
W: come sit down and eat with us! Me: would you like that? W: yes I would
I sat, she talked about her day. I did some good active listening and some validation. I then talked about my day and she was surprisingly interested. I’m not reading into it. We all went to the living room after dinner. W began trying to touch me. I would pull away as I felt as she wasn’t being genuine or was just temp checking. This caused her to go into hardcore pursuit where she kept following me trying to touch me.
I gave her a look like what are you doing. W: “I’m just trying to bother you”. She then asked for me to massage her legs to which I replied “my lower back is pretty sore from house work, I’ll massage you if you massage me.” She said maybe later, obvious temp check.
I received a dresser in the mail as I need more space for all my new clothes. W said “you got yourself a new dresser to build but won’t build me one?” I replied that no I wouldn’t help my W move out and build furniture for her separation apartment. She made a comment something like “you are still going to be my partner”. Didn’t really react to this.
We went to bed and, before our sitch she could only fall asleep if she touches me with part of her body (she has a lot of anxiety problems and I have been her rock and security for many years.). Since BD she would fall asleep on edge of bed but last few nights she has fallen asleep while touching me, like before our Sitch. We also cuddle in the middle of the night.
My question is in regards to respect. I feel as if she has respect for me. Early after BD she went out drinking till 2am. Upon her coming home I made it clear this was unacceptable to me and that I would leave the MR if she did it again. I am not controlling at all and think she needs to get out of the house more and spend more time with friends as I do, but binge drinking till 2am when we have a baby at home is absolutely unacceptable to me. After I had a stern boundary talk with her about it, she hasn’t done it since.
Early after BD I informed her that if I found out she was having an affair, EA or PA that I would leave the MR. I also have no trouble enforcing boundaries on if she talks to me disrespectfully which has only happened a handful of times since BD.
I was reading another thread that said that the LBS should be very strict and not put up with any BS of the WW if she is disrespectful. Stuff like kicking her out of MBR. I feel that my W has gained some respect back for me and hasn’t been acting very disrespectful at all. This builds up leads to my question: Should I prematurely pack all of the pictures of us that are on the wall? I will not keep them up after she moves out. I know I shouldn’t be doing things to get a reaction but I feel like if I pack them up, she will get the message that I don’t need her and am okay with a life without her?
