Resentment is creeping in and all the while I miss her to death. I miss my friend, my partner.
I hear you, it's painful, it's terrible to go through! We all went through it or are going through it- wondering what in the world happened to the loving spouse we thought would be there forever. But take it from me and others here that have been down this road and have had a few years to reflect on it- she's gone. The person she is now is not the person you fell in love with and spent all those years with. I know that's difficult to hear but the sooner you accept it the easier it will be for you to give her the time and space she needs. It is quite literally like an alien has removed your old W from her body and substituted another person in there. She may look like your old W, and sometimes act like her, but it's not her. Like most of us did, you are clinging to the notion that your W is still in there somewhere and if you push the right button she will pop back out and all will be normal. But it won't happen that way. You've got many months or (more likely) years of work ahead over which you may slowly build a new R with this new person. You've got to be exceedingly patient for that to happen.
Quote
Not sure what to do about certain things: W wants to spend quite a bit of weekends together as a family - going places, going to church, even talked about going to a Texas Rangers game. Even then talked about a trip to California this summer all of us to see family WTF
Like mtb said she wants to cake-eat and play family when it suits her. You can go along with it if you want, but none of it really means anything to her, her attitude is "I'll keep doing this until something better comes along."
