I'm starting to doubt whether I even want to stay in this M. Is this normal? Do these feelings come and go?
Does it really matter why she is checking out? - MLC - Adjustment disorder w/depression or anxiety due to our move w/3 little kids - Her thinking I have a personality disorder *** - Affair - Not feeling loved or appreciated?
*** The most likely one
When someone doesn't love you, isn't there for you, ignores you, doesn't validate you... what's the point? When they respond to you with indifference, or resentment, what is the value? Am I supposed to interpret these moments as signs I need to change, or just evidence that the R is over? Yes, I can analyze my role in the deterioration of our R, but honestly I do resent her lack of awareness of her contributions. I do feel like I have worked harder to identify problems than she has. What am I getting out of this? Even if the BD never comes, I cannot endure this much longer. I don't apologize for my need to feel loved and appreciated in a R.
Can anyone else here relate? Do you guys DB even when you know the M is over, DB just for its own sake to improve yourself? Or should I be mixing in something other than DB also?
Sorry for the incoherent rambling... so many thoughts swirling around in my head.
