New to this - need to talk

[bpd]

Would people agree to this. I read this on another web site:

"Escape & Avoid brings on the fog. This fog serves a purpose. A person in their right mind would not behave this way, thus the fog buries their guilt until they can handle it. But they are not insane and are thus accountable for their actions. They are confused; sometimes they will be aware of this and others not, but the existence of a reason for bad behavior does not make it excusable."

My wife said that issues were hidden beneath the surface and that when the affair was busted, everything came to the surface. I knew that while the affair was taking place, she was working hard to distant herself emotional from me. This is based on stuff she wrote, pinterest and instagram posts. The month before emotional affair absolutely no indication of any issues with me as a husband, only during the affair.

The other interesting aspect is my wife found the emotional affair as the be all / end all, soulmate stuff. I talked to the guy and he was adamant that he did not engage that deeply, he even thought something was going on with her.

I feel like my wife was rebelling against death the last couple of years with the drinking, tattoos, shopping, flirting, partying etc. but I definitely do not believe she was thinking that she never loved me or our relationship was the sole cause to her unhappiness.

My wife has a brutal conscience and her getting into a texting affair with other man even for 2 months would have rocked her soul. I would imagine she has major guilt over her actions the past 2-3 years.

I will jump back on the "let her go" "detachment" horse. I hope we can live our lives without walking on egg shells. I suppose walking on egg shells is purely based on how I feel. If she is cold and distant then I will just carry on like life is normal. I will be difficult but what other choice to I have.