New to this - need to talk

[AndrewP]

Hi bpd - I've not posted to you before but noticed your thread in passing today.

Can anyone explain to me her saying that these thoughts have been under the surface for years and all came abruptly out the day the bomb dropped. Trust me she was doing a lot of replay thing for 2-3 years before BD.

Do you think this talk will force a type of "Rock Bottom"? This is all so confusing, I am trying too hard to make sense of it.

I really feel like I still have Time on my side, how in the world could she leave the house and family life with the Crazy Thoughts. She knows I know. Also the logistics of her leaving and impossible. She also said that I called her bluff.

One thing that I've learned is that even when you think that someone has hit rock bottom that there is still further they can fall. What would have been completely unacceptable to her even months ago will just become another thing that ticks her off as she progresses to where-ever she is going.

My (now ex) wife gave up family, house, respect in the community years ago and from the little information I get is a bitter angry woman living above a liquor store who has withdrawn from all what and who she used to care about. This has been going on for years now. She was - or at least I thought she was - a pillar of the community. Kind, loving, caring. Then seemingly in the blink of an eye it all changed.

Most of them will tell similar stories, and yes, similar lies. Just because she says that she had these thoughts for years, do you actually have any reason to believe her? They will build their own narrative that helps them justify their actions.

Listen closely to what job has to say. The key thing is the last sentence. As tough as it is - and trust me - I know that in spades - you need to focus on what is around you in order that you don't get dragged under too. As time passes, you will see more clearly both what sort of person you are and what sort of person she was / is / will become.

As I told a friend of mine recently. This isn't about you. There's nothing you could have done or can do that will make a darned bit of difference to them.