No don't let her manipulate her but do what makes you happy. Are you still living there, do you take comfort in your house looking good for you and your kids? I know I have always taken pride in how my home looked at least on the outside and in my living space when I was in my own bedroom. It was actually theraputic for me to do the yardwork.
I did find myself not doing things around the house like cleaning up as a bit passive aggressive because clutter always bothered both of us and I was not touching anything just to get a rise out of my WW. It took time and I mean like 6-7 months to stop acting like this. It was actually me realizing I will do things because I want to and for me to still have some pride in my home not to create a "see this is what it will be like" just to get a reaction out of her. I didn't want my kids to see everything falling apart around them. My WWs choices were her choices. It takes time.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
