Sounds like your h could be in crisis because of all of the things that you have described. He's going to be spending quite a bit of money in the near future. You will begin to see his mirror image, or as I say, the exact opposite of the man that you love. He will regress back to the childhood age that he was emotionally stunted and hopefully will face those demons that have haunted him for many years and accept the things that he could not change and then finally grow up.
As for him staying in contact w/the ow, it's an emotional affair at the moment because of the distance between them. Emotional affairs are much harder to break because they tend to share more of themselves in phone calls, texts, etc. It's a fantasy and he feels that she's listening and validating his thoughts. In other words, she is stroking his ego big time. You are right...she's really nothing more than a band aid to his inner pain at the moment.
Please listen to the posters...do not agree to anything w/o seeking legal advice. Can you afford to remain in your home or will you eventually have to move? If you can afford to stay there, do so unless your lawyer advises otherwise.
Continue living your life to the fullest. If he is in crisis, there is no guarantee that he will return or return as the man you once knew. Try to keep the focus on you, your children and your financials. Come here to vent and seek support.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
