This is a positive post, Dilly - even though you're feeling a bit unmotivated. You're moving forwards and on the right track, I think.
I've been thinking about summer holidays too. I'd like to go away somewhere sunny for a week. We were away in Europe last year, all together, and the weather was amazing and the kids were happy and it was nearly idyllic. It was peaceful with H and I had the sense we were getting through the worst of our difficulties. Until the last night - he's very afraid of flying and got really irritable with Youngest, then left to go and sit in a bar and get drunk on his own while I did all the packing and getting ready for the flight the next morning. I tried to be generous and overlook it - he probably did just need some time to himself after an intense week - but the fact that he never really acknowledged the fact he'd been unreasonable soured it for me.
I could just go ahead and book something for this summer. I have the money and our passports are all present and correct. I have no qualms about taking them away abroad. It just seems a pretty incendiary move - booking a family holiday without discussing it with H and without seeing if he wants to come. But I don't think we're in the right place for me to be asking things like that. And the reality is, I don't think we'd be able to spend a week with each other and the kids in close quarters and it be okay right now.
