I sometimes think the WAS is more self-pitying than the LBS, I'm pretty sure mine is. That will be because they took the gutless, spineless way out of a marriage rather than looking at themselves and their role in it and doing the work to fix themselves and the M. Whereas we can see that we're actually a victim here so we work hard to NOT have a victim mentality (really not easy)...
I agree! I keep thinking to myself, would it have been that hard to just talk to me? To tell me you were struggling? Why? And why risk everything? His children will never look at him the same way. That breaks my heart. As he tried to minimize his affair, which he says is not.... he calls it "talking", such BS, I asked him if he thought his children would think it was a big deal. If he told them he was "talking" with OW, would they think it was ok?
The LBS is left behind to do all the work, to deal with all of the pain. Yet, he still pulls me right back in to feeling bad for him. At this point I am doing my best to stay busy while I am at home so I do not have to interact with him. It's too easy to fall right back into old routines.
