I think not getting too high or too low off of another person is always a safe bet; it's important to still be independent and detached with others, even if in a relationship with them. I think of that as the opposite of codependency.
Your sitch is a tricky one. I sometimes struggle with what to tell you and feel like I always go back to my same old, boring advice. It's just what I think and you know I am not great about sugar-coating anything. You let her back too easy. She didn't ever lose you and she didn't have to do any work to get you back. I feel like it's almost that simple for most of us here.
I also still think you have to be apart for some time before ever coming back together again. It sux and yeah, it takes a long, long, long time. This stuff can take many years. As you can see, a few months or even a year of staying together and "partly" working on things is not enough. I don't see that she was ever all in ... so my fear is that you have been slowly building bad habits together that are becoming the norm. .... I think you deserve better than this ....
Or I have missed something here? Your second paragraph is rather confusing to me. Are you saying that she said it's over but now your emotions are building more towards her? I don't get it. She is still there tho. Has she said again that she is done and out? I don't tend to believe what she says because she hasn't been honest and changes her mind. Or can you just tell because she is becoming indifferent?
Blu
Last edited by BluWave; 05/07/1907:40 PM.
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
