W is SAHM but our plan when moving 2 years ago was that she would ramp to PT work (2 days / week). Her career is important to her and she gets a lot out of it. I am fully supportive of this, although I'm sure I could have helped her accelerate the process by now so that she was up and working.
I don't see it as her job 100% to take care of the house, but yes it is also not realistic to do 50/50%. I am proud of incremental changes I have made, trying to be better, but it may be too little too late. I am by no means a lazy dad who just turns on sports or whatever when I get home.
Many nights I do watch the kids while W takes a break before they go to bed. Unfortunately for a few reasons there really isn't time to take them anywhere, but I will spend time alone with them while she rests, or calls a friend, etc. W has gone some weekends to visit friends (although she canceled one last month which is a major red flag), or sometimes meets a friend for dinner at night or on the weekend.
If the issue was entirely about the household chores & kids, I think W would be more open about talking about how we could change things. Recently I worked out with my boss that I would leave work early some days so I could spend more time with my kids, and W had zero reaction.
