Hi AS, I do want to keep the way home paved and smooth. I am confused on how to do that when setting boundaries and enforcing consequences. It did seem mean to box up her clothes and leave them in the garage, but that has been recommended on several occasions previously due to her waywardness. It hurt me to see her cry and be in pain.
Sometimes a little "tough love" is needed, especially when dealing with a WW. The key is you have to be consistent though. Don't box up her stuff and put it in the garage and the next day tell her you love her and wish she would work on the M with you. Do you see what crazy, mixed signals that would send? As Hurt said she KNOWS she only needs to snap her fingers and you'll come running. What you need to strive for is for her not just to think but to know that that is no longer the case. That Curtis is no longer Plan B waiting in the wings.
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Should I apologize to her for anything (exposing the A, guilting her over the kids, boxing her stuff)? Should I tell her that the door is open and she is welcome to come back if she ever feels differently, that I won’t bring up those things again, and that I will leave her alone?
As Hurt and others said you don't want to apologize and you don't want to beg and plead. That'll just make you look unsure of yourself and lacking confidence at a time you want to be exuding strength. And your words mean less than nothing to her right now anyway. Show her actions, and show her consistent actions over a long period of time.
