- Maybe she will see that I have made positive changes, and her thinking will change.
Not that I recommend initiating separation, but unfortunately situations very rarely turn around unless and until a separation happens. You might try to get out and GAL but honestly it's not giving the WAS the time and space they want. When living under the same roof you are just around each other too much.
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- I don't want to be the one to initiate the break of this family, for my kids' sake.
Then don't. You have the gift of time, use it.
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- Maybe I still need time to work on myself before we plunge ahead.
The work on yourself never ends.
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- Maybe she will come down to D-Day and step back from the ledge, and have an epiphany.
That's highly unlikely. It's very unusual for a WAS to "snap out of it". Usually their recovery is a long and slow process.
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The reality is I have basically zero hope right now. I see the value in the DB techniques for my own personal development, but I just don't see how they will save my M.
DBing rarely works as fast as people want it to. It can take years to turn a WAS around, and very, very few LBS's have that kind of patience.
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Part of me wants to just call W out on what is going on. Just confront her, "What's going on with our M?" Not because I want to save it, but because I'm tired of living a lie, feeling suffocated, unloved, misunderstood.
There's nothing fun about being stuck in limbo in a sexless marriage. I will say that you are unlikely to get a satisfactory response from her, but the conversation isn't going to wreck recon chances either so if you want to have that talk then do it. Be prepared to be disappointed with her confusing, ambiguous responses though.
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I'm so confused. I don't understand my W anymore. We used to be close.
Yes! Look at the timeline in my signature, I am STILL confused about what happened to the loving wife that thought I hung the moon and would chew her own arm off if it meant saving our M. THAT wife is long gone, and so is yours. That is very difficult to come to terms with, it takes time.
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W is uploading a lot of pictures to our Cloud account lately. I don’t think she realizes how obvious it is.
She knows. She's prepping you for BD.
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At what point should I retain counsel?
Well, you don't really need a L right now but if it might bring you some piece-of-mind then do it.
