Re: A familiar story with questions TEN

[RR17]

Thanks, Steve85
(knowing that I proactively did what was recommended here put a smile on my face.)

All I want to add for noobs is that you need to move past the suffering. All the DB techniques aid in this. Nobody wants to run a marathon that they never elected to join. Tough luck.
Buckle up or you might as well move on. Staying while still in a fight or flight state will only prolong your suffering. If your spouse has granted you the gift of time, use it to work on YOU. Face your demons and remember who you were when the R started. Regain your mojo. Learn to be happy regardless. Bring your frustrations here.

I am far from out of the weeds, but I wouldn't say I am not suffering. Things are calm and no longer a threat. I feel in control. Not of my W or the R, but of me. I don't need confirmation like I once did. I no longer feel totally responsible for the happiness of another person. Only my part.

BTW, last night W was dabbling in discussing what could be considered future plans. Not directly, but regarding real estate values in our area. This is something she was disinterested in previously. Just acknowledging. No expectations.