One thing I have realized in this group and perhaps it is obvious to others here is as Job has stated, we all tend to advise through the lens of our own personal experiences. I believe that most everyone here is intending to help others and I hope to do the same. Sometimes that help is not easily excepted and that's to be expected. If the prudent options were so obvious to us while stuck in the thick of it, we wouldn't need the group. Right?
Some people need to create a distance from their spouse. I get that. Hopefully, it can be achieved while still in the home, for reasons discussed elsewhere in these pages. Sometimes that is not possible. Only we can know and often only after we try. If you are in danger, then don't wait. Many times leaving without the full intent of divorce is simply a Contol Tactic. I think it is important to know why one decides to leave the home.
Much of the pain and distress that we experience while in this, is Growing Pains. As we realize where the MR got off track and how we contributed to it, hopefully, we learn and correct that behavior. Missing out on this opportunity would be unfortunate and a real shame. Not a lot of fun, but a tremendous opportunity. IMO Soak it in regardless of why the final outcome may be. You'll be a better person because of it.
Peace and Love.
I am still in my home, living in the MBR with my WW living upstairs. She pushed to file for D. I accepted it. I absolutely distance myself from her. She hurt me badly and she didn't/doesn't care. I am cordial, but I want nothing to do with the person that she has become. I am nice and will chit chat, but beyond that, I can't wait to move out and get my own place and move on with my life, control what I can control, and not have to worry about being in a position where someone has control over my emotions.
My WW showed zero remorse for her cheating. I have gotten a few crocodile tears and a couple of half hearted sorrys. I gave my WW a chance to stop her PA and stop the hurt. She decided she didn't want to, so she lost me. I personally decided that I do not want to be with a cheater and will not wait around for a cheater. I have better things to do with my life.
I truly hope everything works out for you. We will all be better people from our experiences, regardless of the outcome.
SoTorn, I feel your pain. I was there at one time although years ago. All I can say is things will change. Given the current state of your R I can't blame you for wanting to get away. Keep posting and Like I said, things will change. Be prepared.
Last edited by RR17; 05/07/1902:15 AM.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
