Opportunistic monkey branching at its finest. It s*cks it hurts, it hurts to see your kids with another family. All your work, sacrifice, commitment, dedication, future etc, play into someone else's hands, and they get to reap what you sowed.
My first GF, she had a half sister, and a mother that went through 3 different husbands, creating three different marriages and families that all failed. Her own mother, when I met her, actually threw her out at 19 over something petty. She was forced to make her own way and fend for herself. I can tell you that sometimes these blended families work, but most of the time they don't in the long run. Ironically, my 1st GF was my first real heartbreak, and first time I was cheated on. I really thought she was a good girl. I started working night shift for two weeks, she had an EA online, actually went through the trouble of flying a random stranger halfway across the country, put him up in a hotel, slept with him, and then dumped me. They are happily married today with 2 kids. Also ironically about a year ago, I contacted her over FB messenger (With W's permission and knowledge, just asking how her life turned out. W and I never had an issue with this, as long as respectful boundaries were maintained.) The XGF apologized to me for the treatment 17 years ago and asked for forgiveness, in which I forgave her. I announced my first son and that I was happily married. She updated me on her family status and we left it at that. (Little did I know I would be BD'd one year later, by another "good girl" from a good family who I never expected to turn on me. My W.) Another EA in the making, and a soft MLC, or transition.
Sometimes I have to really look in the mirror and ask myself? Is it me? Am I attracting these people into my life because of who I am, how I behave, and what I do? Have I been making the same mistakes for the past 20 years in relationships, only improving a little? I know Im awesome fun and exciting to be around, but there is another side to me that is somewhat difficult to live with due to my frustrations at times.
I have never given up on a relationship, (long beyond the expiration date and toxicity of it.) and I have never cheated, and I don't believe in Divorce. Im starting to ask myself? Maybe I should? There are a lot of things I need to change, and am working on. But I will never put my morals, my principles, my values, and especially my self worth into the trusted hands of another woman again. (It would take a really special woman that understood what happiness, real love, real commitment, real integrity, real communication and problem solving .) Don't ever stop improving yourself, love yourself first and foremost.
I know this may or may not help, but know that you have your honor, your integrity, and your values to stand not only for family, for your children, for marriage, and for yourself. I know it doesn't keep you warm at night, but you will be able to hold your head high again. One day your WW will have to answer to someone, or possibly your children, regardless of what justified her actions. Feelings are great to guide you in life, but should never control your life, so I am learning.
