For right now you need to just leave her alone. You are really confused right now and need to stop and take a deep breath. Yes, boxing up her stuff would of represented strength if you did it when you first caught her in an affair. Now your just helping her move. Forget boundaries for now. Unless your willing to serve her which you’re not, just forget about it for now.
Also I want to make the clear. No more telling her you still love her and are willing to work on the marriage. Trust me she knows. No apologies for anything. The next apology needs to come from her.
I think you need to post more often and read over the homework some more until you get a better understanding of what you need to do.
