With the 3 kids... our plan has been for W to go back to work part time which she badly wants and I know how much it means to her. But yes for now things are imbalanced, although I do come home on time 95% of days and spend time with them and put them to bed. Sometimes W goes out to dinner, or has gone for a couple weekends with different friends who live out of state. I could of course do better, but so don’t take for granted everything W does for them.
I am doing what you suggested... when she talks, make eye contact, listen, validate, stay positive, resist the urge to problem solve. Sometimes I think I see positive signs but it’s hard to say, and they haven’t translated to any gains in our M. More just that we have more pleasant conversations about the news or what have you.
