Curtis, you may not be familiar with 25 as she hasn't posted on here in the last few months, but one of her gold-plated pieces of advice was that it's the LBS's job to "keep the way home paved and smooth." That's really it, that's what DB'ing is all about. It's not to throw a hook into her and drag her kicking and screaming back home. It's not to dig potholes and set up roadblocks making it harder for her to drive home. It's not to put your front bumper against her back bumper and shove her farther down the road. It is simply to live your life and leave her alone, to be the rock and the lighthouse so that when she looks back she sees someone she WANTS to be with. If she chooses to drive home, then your job is to make that drive as easy as you can. BUT SHE HAS TO WANT TO MAKE THE DRIVE, AND SHE HAS TO DRIVE, NOT YOU.
So with this in mind, ask yourself if you are keeping the way home paved and smooth. Personally I don't think you are, I think you are digging potholes and trenches in the road. You are sabotaging the way home. You have good intentions, you are hoping that by shoving her nose in the affair and embarrassing her by accusing her of being a bad mother that you will wake her up and she will see the error of her ways and want to come back and work on the M. THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!! You can't "nice" her back, I think you've already learned that. But unfortunately you've made the classic LBS mistake of then trying to "mean" her back, but that is equally ineffective. It's time to drop back, regroup, focus on you and the kids and well and truly leave her alone.
