That's a great way of looking at it gzabetas. I've tried that. Going back to my wholeness and objectivtivity of another person, back in time when I first met them, who I was, what I was doing, how I acted. I can also say that my 1st infatuation, and rejection when I was 17, almost cause me to drive my car into a tree, and losing multiple jobs, whether it be due to lay off or fired for some small transgression, or underperformance over the years, and disappointing my wife several times, did cause me to consider putting a pistol against my head, knowing I could never do it. This was before kids. My W uncle killed himself a couple of years ago, and W friend hung himself in HS. So I have seen suicide first hand. Out of my 5 relationships I've had 2 cheat on me, and W came close with IA/EA. Now I'm faced with my biggest challenge. W leaving the marriage, selling our home, and me being the best father I can be. Rebuilding my life, and at least trying to be a better person than I have been in the last 20 years. If there is anything that has made me emotionally and mentally stronger, it has been experiencing all these pains in certain parts of my life. My value is enough to respect myself and walk away, and just enough to start with some small changes. I will never put the value of myself in someone else's hands. The biggest question is can I learn and change from my mistakes, and how far can I take it?
