YES! And you are the author, you can write whatever you want!
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And I was a guy who almost swerved my car into a tree to stop the pain at my worst.
I think we all faced similar demons. It is a really painful thing to go through but when you come out the other side you really do feel like there's not much life can throw at you that you can't handle with grace.
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Remember back to when you first started dating her. You were whole. And happy. (this was a lightbulb for me) We were self sufficient for a long time in our lives.
Exactly, that's a big part of recovery is getting back to that person we were before we got married. Strong, independent, content to be alone. When we met our W's our attitude was "she can join me in life if she wants, and if she doesn't then no biggie." And that's what we have to get back to.
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Thank God I was able to mentally go back and assume I was starting to date her. And I realized I wouldnt. Not this way.
That's the irony. The person that BD'd us IS NOT the person we fell in love with. What happened to that person is a question we'll never get answered, but we struggle along after BD hoping that old person will come back. But they rarely do. This new person that they are is typically not someone we would even want to be in an R with, but it takes a while for us to come out of the fog and see that.
